• Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
  • Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
  • #australians: i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
  • Canadians: We left Toronto 2 days ago, We are still in Ontario, food is scarce. We are lost, soon we will have to eat each other to survive, oh wait there's a tims we're good.
  • Russians: I was in Yakutia, I drove for twenty eight hours, now I'm still in Yakutia, I travelled by train for 6 days, I'm still in Russia. Don't even try to leave Russia. Don't forget: you're here forever. Accept it and suffer.

mydogsnokes:

o yea the 90s. the 90s were great. fuckin sick. raw as hell. learning how to speak. crying for no reason. shitting in my diaper

(via icedtealegion)

ddistiller:

my oral sex skills are about the only good thing i have going for me in life

(via icedtealegion)

misbeliefs:

i have abs………olutely nothing

(via icedtealegion)

weedjoke420:

can’t wait till all my friends get married and have nice weddings with open bars

(via our-name-is-legion)

"No era amor. Pero besaba bien pinche rico."

jerkidiot:

have you ever stopped liking somebody that you liked a lot and suddenly notice that they are a shitty person and realize how blinded you were by how much you liked them

(via our-name-is-legion)

Reblog and see if you get a color.

  • PURPLE: We near never speak, but I do enjoy your presence on my dashboard.
  • FUCHSIA: I wish I could become your best friend through the internet.
  • GREY: You leave me with jumbled words.
  • RED: I'm in love with you.
  • PINK: I have a crush on you.
  • TURQUOISE: You're hot.
  • CHARTREUSE: I sincerely wish you would notice me.
  • TEAL: We have quite a lot in common.
  • BLUE: You are my Tumblr crush.
  • ORANGE: I dislike your page.
  • YELLOW: PLEASE FUCK ME.
  • WHITE: PLEASE MARRY ME.
  • GREEN: I find you cute.
  • BLACK: I would date you.
  • BROWN: I dislike you.